Playing for Keeps

Why are we never just content? Why can't we just be happy with what we've got? Always working, wishing, hoping, dreaming for more. I got home a week ago and I already want out. I want to skip the next three years and just get on with my life. I like college, but I want something more and it's killing me just as bad as it's killing him. Three more years.

I want to hang out with my boyfriend and our friends. We don't have 'our' friends, we have my friends and we have his friends. Nobody is mutual between us, except for maybe his parents. I want that but I'll never have that. At least not for a long time and by then we'll have to be responsible. We'll be 'grown-ups' in the real world with real issues and real work and real problems and real bills and real jobs. So for now we have the phone. At least we have that..

I want consistency. Nothing is forever, and this moving around is driving me crazy. Friends will never be the same, we're old and we have lives to get on with.

My birthday is coming up and all I want is everyone I love in one place. That's all I want; to be really really happy for a few hours. Happy enough to believe that I've never been that happy.

It's not that I'm not happy, but this distance is killing me.

posted by Playing For Keeps @ 6:11 PM